Boy, did I speak too soon!
I should have known it would not stay quiet around here for long. I was sitting outside in my back yard reading; I was reading 1 Peter, and trying to grasp "why" the Christians were being persecuted...all of a sudden I heard this buzzing sound around my ear... the next thing I knew this buzzing sound had FLOWN INTO my ear, yes friends a bug has gone inside my head! As if being blonde is not challenging enough, I have this bug flying around in there! Now, I know this could happen in the U.S., right? Well, I lived there for 50 years and it never happened...just sayin... But what is your automatic response when you feel a bug fly in your ear. Of course, you shove your finger in your ear AND PUSH IT FARTHER! What was I thinking?! So the only thing I knew to do was press on my ear and around my ear and try to kill the bug so it won't crawl any farther... O.k.I think it is dead, now what to do. I called my nurse friend, she said pour some oil in your ear and the bug will rise to the top and you can pull it out with tweezers (doesn't that sound ghastly)! Well, I poured the oil in, waited, no bug. So I repeated the procedure... Still no bug! Great! It really is headed for my brain, and the closest hospital is...well, there isn't one CLOSE. I am in BIG trouble. The good thing is, I don't hear the buzzing anymore! Did it fly out when I wasn't...listening? Lol. I don't feel any pain, that's good! The next day Ken and I have to go "to town" to get groceries, so to somewhat relieve my mind, I went to see the doctor. Oh, glory! Keep in mind I have not been sick since I started coming here in 2007. I have taken children to the clinic, but I was going to see a real Doctor! I stepped into the office, Ken went with me, I was the only patient. Hmmm...is that a good sign? Not usually, but ALL I want him to do is take out his little Doctor light, look in my little ear and say 6 little words...there's no bug in your ear. The Zambian receptionist asked me if I had been there before, I politely said no m'aam and she said fill out this paper. She picked up a sheet of white paper, and penned the words: Name, Address, DOB, Sex...and handed it to me. Oh heavens, in the U.S. you could solve world hunger before you get all the forms filled out! She literally wrote those 4 things down on paper and that was all she needed. Now she takes me back to get my BP (which much to my amazement was normal). Here is the biggy, I saw her retrieve a rectal thermometer from a small cylinder of alcohol, dear Lord in heaven, where does she want to put that thing? In my mind, neither option seemed very appealing, if you know what I am saying! She shook the mercury down, like I remember my mom doing when I was a very small child. I am trying to figure out how I can tactfully say to this sweet nurse "DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTING THAT IN MY MOUTH". I really am trying to stay calm, and the nurse is very sweet and personable a rather "big boned" woman; without even thinking twice, in one quick movement, she pulls open my shirt lifts my right arm and shoves the thermometer under my arm! Whew! I was incredibly thankful I did not have to deal with that issue!
The power (electricity) was off and had been off most of the morning, the office was rather dark so after getting my vital signs she had me go back to the lobby. Ken and I are still the only ones in the waiting room; she pulls out a stack of magazines from behind the nurses desk. She looks through them and hands me ONE magazine, and says "I think you will like this one". She hands Ken one and says "here this one is about cars, you'll like this one". But wait there's more, as I was perusing through the fashion magazine, I noticed the date on the magazine...it was from 2003!!! The magazine is an antique! Not really, an antique but y'all, really? 10 years old! Anyway, the doctor came in, it's my turn and I am not sure whether to stay or flee! I decided, like the bug "I'm going in"! I sat down in his office, explained my problem and he pulled out his CELL PHONE FLASHLIGHT and looked in my ear and said he did not see a bug. Well, heck, he probably couldn't find a snake with a cell phone light! Cell phones are designed to talk on, NOT LOOK IN ONE'S EAR! Good news is he did not charge me, bad news, I still have no idea if there is a bug in my head somewhere. Now for all of you sweet people who may have horror stories about bugs in your ears...SAVE THEM, I DO NOT EVEN WANT TO KNOW! I have to walk by faith, NOT BY SIGHT.